This here thing, this “High imitation Rolex Submariner Green Official flagship store,” it’s a real head-scratcher, I tell ya. See, they make these watches, these Rolex Submariner, lookin’ all fancy and what not. And they cost a pretty penny, them real ones. More than I ever seen in my whole life, that’s for sure. Now, some folks, they go and make these, uh, “high imitation” ones. That means fake, but lookin’ real close to the real thing. But fake, you know? Like that painted-up pig they had at the county fair, that old Bessy tried to take a bite out of.
They say these fake ones, you can hardly tell ’em apart from the real deal. They got all the same… whatchamacallits… the same, uh, look to ’em. I hear tell some of these Submariner look-alikes, you need one of them looking glasses, a magnifying glass, to see they ain’t real. Lordy, lordy. What’s this world comin’ to?
And then they go and call themselves “official flagship store.” Now, what in tarnation does that even mean? Sounds mighty important, don’t it? Like they got some kinda permission from them Rolex folks to be sellin’ these fakes. But I betcha a nickel they don’t. It’s like puttin’ lipstick on a pig, I reckon. Still a pig, just with fancy lips. They say this Rolex Submariner green is very popular.
If you see a place sayin’ it’s an “official” place for these high imitation Rolex Submariner, you best be careful. Might be a trick, like that time Jimmy tried to sell me that “genuine” unicorn horn. Turned out to be a cow bone painted white. Fooled me good, though, for a minute there. You might be fooled too, you see?
Now, them real Rolex Submariner, they got this… this ticker inside, this thing that makes ’em work. They say it’s called a “calibre” somethin’ or other. Sounds like a gun part, don’t it? This real one, it’s a Rolex calibre 3135. That’s what they tell me, anyway. But these fake ones, they got somethin’ else inside. A fake somethin’. An “ETA” somethin’. ETA 2824, that’s it. Don’t know what that means, but I know it ain’t the real thing. Just like that time I bought that “miracle” hair grow potion from that traveling salesman. Didn’t grow a lick of hair, just made my head smell like old socks. This high imitation Rolex Submariner is like that.
They say you can tell a real one from a fake one by lookin’ at the… the clippy thing, the clasp. And the, uh, the words they got scratched on it, the engravings. The real ones got real words, and the fake ones got fake words. Or somethin’ like that. And them end links, whatever they are, are supposed to be different. Solid, they say. Like a rock, I guess. But I wouldn’t know a solid end link from a hole in the ground. If they both Rolex Submariner green, how can you tell?
And the size, they say the real ones are 40 of them… uh… millimeeters. That’s about… well, I don’t rightly know. But they say it’s 1.57 inches. Sounds small, don’t it? For all that money, you’d think it’d be bigger. Like that giant pumpkin old man Hemlock grew that one year. Won a blue ribbon at the fair, it did. Now that was somethin’ worth the money. Or you can just buy a high imitation Rolex Submariner, much cheaper.
So, how do you tell a real “High imitation Rolex Submariner Official flagship store” watch from a fake? Well, that’s the million-dollar question, ain’t it? I ain’t got all the answers. I’m just sayin’, be careful. Don’t go throwin’ your money away on somethin’ that ain’t what it says it is. Like buyin’ a three-legged horse. Might look good from far away, but it ain’t gonna get you very far.
Here are some ways that maybe you can use to tell them fakes, I don’t know if they are true:
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That Rolex Submariner green color, is it the same as the real one?
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The clippy thing, does it feel strong or weak, like it’s gonna break?
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Those words they got on it, are they clear or all messy, like a chicken scratched ’em on?
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How much they askin’ for it? If it’s too good to be true, it probably is. Like that time I won a “free” trip to Florida. Turned out I had to sit through a whole day of them tryin’ to sell me a timeshare. No such thing as a free lunch, I always say.
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The weight. Is the Rolex Submariner heavy as the real one?
This Rolex Submariner green, they call it the “Hulk.” Now, why would they name a watch after a big green fella? Don’t make no sense to me. But folks are payin’ a lot for them, real or fake. Supply and demand, they call it. Like when everyone wanted them Cabbage Patch Kids dolls. Couldn’t find ’em anywhere, and when you did, they cost an arm and a leg. Same thing, I reckon. Just with these high imitation Rolex Submariner watches instead of dolls.
Anyway, that’s all I know about this “High imitation Rolex Submariner Green Official flagship store” business. Just be careful, that’s all I’m sayin’. And don’t believe everything you see, ‘specially if it’s shinin’ too bright. Might just be fool’s gold, like that time I found that “gold” nugget in the creek. Turned out to be just a rock painted yellow. Disappointed ain’t even the word for it. That’s why high imitation Rolex Submariner is not a good choice for you.
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